Hi there. I am Heather. I live in Margaret River, Western Australia. I have a boyfriend, I live in a normal 3 by 1 house, I have a job, I have 3 other jobs, I have 2 university degrees, I pay taxes, I go to the doctor, I have a dog and 2 cats, I am a terrible dancer and I talk far too much. I am adopted. I have spent my life asking questions. I have always wanted answers, but I also have been afraid of finding the answers. I have been afraid of not being good enough. I have been afraid of who I was. I am still a little bit afraid of people judging me, of people thinking I’m strange or crazy. I am still overcoming these things.
I was a clever child, precocious even. I understood information really quickly and I most particularly understood information in connections. I could connect stuff. But, I was never the best at anything. I was always good, but not great. At school I didn’t make friends particularly easily and boys weren’t really that interested in me. For years I fought to fit in. I worked hard and looked for the approval of others to validate me. I said yes to things I didn’t want to do because I somehow felt obligated. I have felt and still feel the inadequacies associated with human experience. I have been fearful of admitting I didn’t understand too. I have labelled people weird or stupid because I didn’t understand their perspective… but underneath it all I knew I was fighting something deep within me that scared me to talk about. I was scared about not being good enough. I was scared about people seeing the real me. I was scared about who that real me was. I hid her, deep inside and never looked at her. I protected her with anger, and indignation and judgement. Instead of looking at my own inadequacies I looked for these in others, to make myself feel better. Instead of considering why I disliked feeling uncomfortable around certain ideas I labelled these idea idiotic, stupid or naive.
As I started to realise how much of the hatred I felt towards myself I was directing out to others, instead of dealing with it internally, I started to notice patterns in myself and my world. I became bemused by how much hatred and judgement there is in the world. I started to notice how little time people spend looking at themselves and showing compassion towards themselves. I am probably a lot like you and I am also probably very different from you at the same time. But, just like you, I am on this great journey of life and I am learning and I am becoming myself.
I love science. I think science is great. I do not deny anything that science has discovered… but I do recognise science for what it is: a system for measuring and documenting our physical world as we currently perceive it. Please bear this in mind in relation to anything I say on this blog.
I grew up in a household where spirituality and anything a little bit woo woo like crystals or homeopathy was considered ridiculous. I grew up in a house with people who loved me and wanted the best for me… it’s just that my parents didn’t have access to ideas like those and they didn’t really understand them. My parents lived their lives according to the ideas they’d grown up with… which is totally understandable and was seriously beneficial for me. I am really grateful to my parents for the childhood I had and I think my more recent forays into spirituality, crystal healing and anything woo woo has been on my own terms. I was able to look at the information relating to anything ethereal objectively because of my academic background, which was foregrounded in our house. I attended a prestigious university thanks to my parents sending me to a very expensive private school. I got to study Literature, Anthropology, Philosophy and Psychology. I got to understand post modern theories and I got to see what cultural relativism is. I am very fortunate.
I have spent my life feeling that I wasn’t good enough. And I have always recognised the limitations of this reality, it’s patterns and the boundaries we’ve placed upon them. These have fascinated me. I see beyond the literal with no effort. I have always found it easy to help and teach others. Explaining complex concepts and connections comes very naturally to me. I can see without difficulty the connection between science and religion, the physical and the ethereal. I see patterns in things. I can read people empathically and I understand human interaction and miscommunications intuitively. And so, after I noticed that people often came to me for advice about how to deal with situations, or how to connect two seemingly disparate elements of the world, I decided to start embracing this. I started a youtube channel where I could talk about some of the patterns and connections in the world and how we can learn from them and then I started this blog, to write about my experiences, impressions and inspirations. I guess it’s kind of my personal journey of inward reflection, but maybe you can learn with me… and I know I can learn from you. We can all learn from each other, isn’t that a beautiful thought? What if we focused on what we could learn from a situation rather than how difficult or horrible it was?
I embrace the idea of energy and the infinite. We are made out of the same atoms from the beginnings of the universe. Energy is infinite. It cannot be made or unmade. It is. We are energy. We are infinite.
I am scared of talking about this stuff because I know that many of my friends and my family might think I am crazy… and I know that there are lots of people out there who would love to troll a blog like this one. But I also know that I have to have courage, to speak with conviction about what I believe to be important. And I think these ideas are paramount for humankind right now… for us to see the similarities, the connections, rather than the differences. To move from binary thinking into connective pattern perception.
I understand why people think that people like me deny science and are unhappy with just accepting that this is it, this is all there is. But, to anyone who would say these things, I would just ask for what I offer to them, a little understanding, an attempt to see that I must believe what I do for a reason. And the reason isn’t mental illness or drugs. And I don’t deny science. I think science is great. I think Mathematics and Physics and Chemistry are wonderful. But, I do not think they are AGAINST spirituality, or anything. I do not believe anything is really against anything. I think we’re just looking at different perspectives on a really really really big picture. And if you’re interested… I’d love to invite you to be part of this space of connections… between people, worlds and ideas.
I offer one of many ways of seeing the world. That is the exciting thing about a paradigm, it doesn’t offer you the truth, it offers you A TRUTH. A VERSION. A PERCEPTION.