The line between ego and self

a little while ago I wrote this, musing on myself and how I allow myself to feel and be. It still feels achingly true today.

The Watermelon Seed

Dear Self,

I have given you a hard time over the years. You never seem to quite measure up. You needed to remember to stay in your place. You had too much to say and your emotions were annoying. You looked at the world through these jaded eyes I provided you with, looking at a body that I gave you and resented you for. It was never thin enough. My face was always a little too masculine, my thighs were always too fat. I blamed everyone else for my inadequacies, I feel like this because of society. Society has made me hate myself. I convinced myself that it wasn’t my responsibility to deal with how I felt. I wasn’t responsible for the way things were for me, it was because of the man, fuck the man. The man made the media and the man made me feel inadequate and the…

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